The End of Dating - Chronicles of Serial Daters

"Why? Why me? Sometimes I really hate dating!  For once, why can't I meet a normal guy that just wants to have fun and not be a damn weirdo about shit?"   Ashlee vented to her girlfriend over the phone. Kara listened wholeheartedly.  She knew exactly what her friend meant. "It's a numbers game, babe! We got to go through the bad ones to get to the good ones!" "I know.  It wouldn't have been so bad, if he would have at least told me be was 23, not 32.  His profile was wrong. He waited till the end of the night to tell me.  That's a total game changer. It was obvious he just wanted to get laid.  Sometimes a girl wants a real damn date!"   Ashlee unloaded.  She was exsapirated with the whole dating process. Kara laughed.  "I'll presume he was not fuckable." "Hell No! This is how I gauge these boys:  20somethings you got to be way hot and sexy for me to consider being with you.  30somethings you need

"OMG, Maddie! Can you fucking believe what that crazy psychotic bitch is doing now?" Justine vented to her girlfriend Maddie. As they sat down for Taco Tuesday, Margaritas in hand.  "Let me guess....hmmmmm, did she jump off a bridge yet?"  Maddie smirked knowing it could never be that simple. Justine smiled and showed Maddie an email on her phone.  "She is emailing my male Facebook friends and telling them I sleep around and have Chlamydia. Seriously, does she really think I'd be dating people on my FB page!!? That's just ridiculous!" Maddie's eyes widened.  "SHE DID NOT!! Who the Fuck does that!?  Does she not have anything better to do? She has truly gone off the deep end." Justine laughed.  "I know.  I have to laugh, because it's so juvenile and not even true. Condoms are a girl's best friend.  Although, she did promote my blogs, so I should probably thank her for that." Justine had a w

Jade and Dani were hangin' outside at a local brewery.  They were laughing over the eager men at the bar who neither had any interest in. Jade's infectious laugh attracted all the 'winners." "What was up with that dude, what was his name Jeffffferrrryyyy? Can it get any worse?"  Dani was being horrible. That guy was so sad, trying waaay too hard. "His Snapchat friend list had about 5 friends .   I was eyeing his phone for a just a minute." Dani giggled. "Yeah, seriously!" Jade laughed "One of them was State Farm." "LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STATE FARM IS THERE!"  They both started cracking up.  "At least he has that!" Jade blurted out. "And he repeatedly told me he smells like Pancakes and Maple syrup." From his vape. "LORD!" "Jezus....I think those guys are listening to us."  Dani eyed them inconspicuously. Dani's phone rang and she answer

"Has Facebook become the new pick up dating app ?" Chystal asked her friend, Melinda, at breakfast one morning.  "I recently changed my status to single.  And I have been inundated with friend requests from random men.  Many of them are a tad scary!" Melinda took a sip of her coffee.  She picked up her phone and showed Chrystal her Facebook friend requests over the last two weeks.  "Yup. You got it! Check that shit out, over 500 requests! A few are hot.  And I know for a fact a few of these dudes have girlfriends.  I have seen this one at the gym with his girlfriend."  She points to a very hot looking guy. One actually called 'Dibs' on me.  WTF? DIBS??!!" Chrystal grabbed Melinda's phone and started scrolling through the requests.  "Wow! No shit!"   Her face showed disbelief.  "Are these guys seriously messaging you out of the blue? Even before you accept their Friend request?"