The End of Dating - Chronicles of Serial Daters

Deanna, Alicia and Morgen were sitting on Deanna's balcony. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining and they each had a glass of their favorite red wine. Each women had exited a fling or relationship with one of those men who women love to talk about.  They all had something ridiculously shitty to share about the ex.  Whether or not they really cared about how things ended was not the point.  The best part of a breakup is throwing the asshole directly under the bus. It's what women do when they get together.  It's like a law!  Alicia could not wait to share the dirty little secrets she had on her fucker of an ex.  They shared a child together, and all they did was fight, it was exhausting.  He was a relentless mess of a man whore.  "My 'Dick'  was stupid enough to get caught cheating with other women.  WTF?  Did he not think people would tell me they saw him out with other women? Not to mention the ones w...

"I need my pussy on it's 'A Game' and have it perfect for "insert name here" Yes, Sex Goddess was at it again. She knew what and who she wanted at any given moment in time.  Don't let her fool you though, as innocent and cool as she seems to her men, they are all just pawns in the bigger picture.  They are her conquests. They are her hoes. They are her manmeat. She plays, and she plays well.  They all think they are number one.  They all think she will settled down with them, but just as she gets her hope's up on one, another captures her attention in what seems to be moments. She gives 100% of herself, she gives sincerely with goodness, and then she casually flakes without a care in the world.  How did she become this sexy creature of hope, squashing every man's dream of forevermore? Every man had something to offer.  They all have at least one worthy quality.  At least one worthy trait wort...

Riley had a new play thing at her disposal.  She had a really great night and had to share her man conquest with her best girl, Ellie. "This guy is way too sweet for my own good.  He already knows all my buttons and pushes them one by one." Ellie was fully engaged.  "But he has this freak side.  He wants me to play with his cum after he finishes. That's totally a first for me." Ellie was perplexed, "What does he want you to do, paint a damn picture?" Riley laughed for a minute.  "What the fuck?  That's hilarious.  I suppose I could." Ellie was on a roll, "Add a little food coloring and you can be fucking Picasso." Riley rolled her eyes.  Ellie had her own conquest to share.  "Once I had a dude mix his cum in with his kid's homemade slime. Now, if that's not a freak side, I surely don't know what is." Riley continued, " There's this other thing tho, he really i...

"Wait, wait, say it again?" The 4 sisters were laughing so hard, they almost spit out their wine, margarita, mixed drinks and whatever the hell else they were drinking.  Sister #2 repeated it one more time, she was the creative, free spirit of the foursome.  "I gave the lotion to the creature in the ditch to rub it." I have no idea what I'm talking about, it just came to me.  "Who is the creature? Why a ditch and where are we rubbing the fucking lotion?" The girls hadn't all been together for quite a while.  When they did these annual trips it always filled their love and laugh tanks. Sister #4 pipes in, "Did you hear about the award winning sex toy? The one that was kicked out of the show? Apparently, the toy was too gender specific towards women." Sister #4, the youngest, was always in the know on everything and anything sex related.   Sister #1, the most political of the four, was flipping out, ...

The Chick Whisperer is at it again.  Check out his story line from prior blog posts. This male seducer may have finally met his match with his Asian counterpart.  She reappears in his life out of the blue, demanding a Valentine's day 'shebang'. She wants roses and romance and all the crazy sex she can get from the Chick Whisperer, as he and only he, can give it to her like no one else can. She slithered back into his life making him question his appearance, his motives and his emotional well being.  She plays with his head, wanting hours and hours of sex, all night long, than leaves him hanging, wondering if he'll be able to keep up with her high sex drive.  He ultimately ended it many months ago.  The demand was simply too much.  As exciting as the chemistry and connection was with this hot little Asian dime piece, he had to let her go. Now she is back in full force and his life has been turned upside down.  He is jumping throug...

"Why oh why do these men keep sending Dick Pics? I did not ask! I did not talk about sex! I did not hint to sex! I most definitely do not care to see their junk!" I have received some of the most ridiculous full length photos recently.  Their entire body in front of a mirror.  Not even at full attention. Are they really this proud?" And this is how Nadine began the conversation, over a Sushi lunch, with her girlfriend, one beautiful Florida afternoon. She unloaded as if it was the most casual thing to talk about. Jordan took a bite of her Spicy Tuna roll and made a nasty face. Not over the sushi, but over the thought of random, naked men popping up on her phone. She was happy to not be single these days.  Jordan was married.  But loved listening to Nadine's male escapades.  Just when she thought the stories could not get any better.  They did. "So, I was thinking," Nadine had one of her thoughtful looks on her face. ...

"Why? Why me? Sometimes I really hate dating!  For once, why can't I meet a normal guy that just wants to have fun and not be a damn weirdo about shit?"   Ashlee vented to her girlfriend over the phone. Kara listened wholeheartedly.  She knew exactly what her friend meant. "It's a numbers game, babe! We got to go through the bad ones to get to the good ones!" "I know.  It wouldn't have been so bad, if he would have at least told me be was 23, not 32.  His profile was wrong. He waited till the end of the night to tell me.  That's a total game changer. It was obvious he just wanted to get laid.  Sometimes a girl wants a real damn date!"   Ashlee unloaded.  She was exsapirated with the whole dating process. Kara laughed.  "I'll presume he was not fuckable." "Hell No! This is how I gauge these boys:  20somethings you got to be way hot and sexy for me to consider being with you.  30somethings you need...

"OMG, Maddie! Can you fucking believe what that crazy psychotic bitch is doing now?" Justine vented to her girlfriend Maddie. As they sat down for Taco Tuesday, Margaritas in hand.  "Let me guess....hmmmmm, did she jump off a bridge yet?"  Maddie smirked knowing it could never be that simple. Justine smiled and showed Maddie an email on her phone.  "She is emailing my male Facebook friends and telling them I sleep around and have Chlamydia. Seriously, does she really think I'd be dating people on my FB page!!? That's just ridiculous!" Maddie's eyes widened.  "SHE DID NOT!! Who the Fuck does that!?  Does she not have anything better to do? She has truly gone off the deep end." Justine laughed.  "I know.  I have to laugh, because it's so juvenile and not even true. Condoms are a girl's best friend.  Although, she did promote my blogs, so I should probably thank her for that." Justine had a w...

Jade and Dani were hangin' outside at a local brewery.  They were laughing over the eager men at the bar who neither had any interest in. Jade's infectious laugh attracted all the 'winners." "What was up with that dude, what was his name Jeffffferrrryyyy? Can it get any worse?"  Dani was being horrible. That guy was so sad, trying waaay too hard. "His Snapchat friend list had about 5 friends .   I was eyeing his phone for a just a minute." Dani giggled. "Yeah, seriously!" Jade laughed "One of them was State Farm." "LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STATE FARM IS THERE!"  They both started cracking up.  "At least he has that!" Jade blurted out. "And he repeatedly told me he smells like Pancakes and Maple syrup." From his vape. "LORD!" "Jezus....I think those guys are listening to us."  Dani eyed them inconspicuously. Dani's phone rang and she answer...

"Has Facebook become the new pick up dating app ?" Chystal asked her friend, Melinda, at breakfast one morning.  "I recently changed my status to single.  And I have been inundated with friend requests from random men.  Many of them are a tad scary!" Melinda took a sip of her coffee.  She picked up her phone and showed Chrystal her Facebook friend requests over the last two weeks.  "Yup. You got it! Check that shit out, over 500 requests! A few are hot.  And I know for a fact a few of these dudes have girlfriends.  I have seen this one at the gym with his girlfriend."  She points to a very hot looking guy. One actually called 'Dibs' on me.  WTF? DIBS??!!" Chrystal grabbed Melinda's phone and started scrolling through the requests.  "Wow! No shit!"   Her face showed disbelief.  "Are these guys seriously messaging you out of the blue? Even before you accept their Friend request?" ...

Carmen walked into the Biker bar to meet her friend, Lane and her 'date'. Lane recently matched with the dude on a dating site.  She hadn't had high hopes for their first encounter.  In fact she didn't even think he'd show up, and was thrilled when Carmen decided to meet up last minute. She explicitly told Carmen in a text that the dude was fair game.  But really it wasn't something she put much thought into at the time. The minute Lane met Rey she was impressed. He isn't a werido she thought. He actually seemed cool and was good looking.  He was educated, personable and decent.  Was it possible she met her first decent match in a long while? Lane and Rey chatted and socialize with the locals, her other girlfriend, Dee, who was working that night and ofcourse Carmen, who was still checking Rey out. Both girls realized Rey was a catch when he took off his hat and showed them his most amazing, beautiful hair.  Carmen and Lane loo...

Samantha and Lolita were driving to their beach condo.  They had just spent the day poking around a nudist camp trying to decide if they should bare it all or simply take notes. They discussed their perceptions on hair, specifically pubic hair.  Samantha began, "I just don't get it.  What is the obsession with hair? Or lack of hair?  I have been asked the oddest things from men I haven't even met." "Tell me about it." Lolita chimed in.  "One guy actually admitted he'd be more willing to go down on me if I had a landing strip.  A God Damn landing strip!! I told him he couldn't be serious and asked if he watched 90s porn much." "Of course he did."  Samantha smirked. Samantha laughed so hard.  "There is definitely a direct correlation between men's facial hair and women's pubic hair.  Did you see that meme?  It's so true.  The more hair on their face, the less hair women have down there. Lol...

What better way to celebrate a Birthday than with good friends and a token stripper.   It's even better when the stripper doesn't need to be paid because he is friends with your bestie. In walks Calvin in his designer jeans and expensive pull over.  You may not have guessed, at first glance, he gets paid to take off cop clothes. However, Kacie knew the minute she laid eyes on him he had something worth paying attention to.   She watched as he strutted past her, his movements exuding sexuality.  She carefully looked him up and down, taking him all in.  She deliberately made eye contact in the elevator, her mission was set. This one was going to be fun. Calvin knew he could get anyone he wanted. He choose Dana.  Dana however could care less. She may have teased Calvin over the last month, however, she wasn't into such young guys and Calvin's timing was off with her, something wasn't right.  Ironically, Kacie knew she...

Three women were casually talking over Cocktails. Each had a story.  Each added something to the conversation.   They were each very enthusiastic to listen to one another chat about their latest man conquests. Sometimes it's the smallest details of a conversation that make the story worthy.  One iota of truth that pulls everything into perspective. Melinda was with her newest, hot flame.  He was really getting her juices flowing.  They had the most intense sex, sex she hadn't experienced in quite a while.  "You don't understand," she told her girlfriend's. " This is different.  We did it everywhere in the house.  And I could NOT believe how effortless it all felt. There is just something about him. He is my Tim McGraw and I just can't help myself.  I want him all to myself.  In fact, after we both cam, we just laid there in our cum juices and snuggled.  As if, it was the most natural thing in the world....

When a girl goes on a first date. There are three things she is wary of.  Will the guy be short? Will the guy be cool? Will the guy try to make a move, and if he does, will she want him to? Dating is a sport.   You win some, you lose some. Here's a dating tale, you decide: Jamie was waiting for her date.  She was excited to meet the guy.  They texted for almost a week, he was engaging and seemed like he'd be fun to hang out with. She was standing outside waiting for him to approach.  She stood there in her boot heals, looking as adorable as she could.  She spotted him and she was hopeful. As she walked toward him, she was thinking, "Oh no.  Is  it possible? This isn't my date is it?" And as they walked towards each other she knew she was most definitely screwed.  The disappointment written all over her face.  She was taller than him, but even without her heals she'd be taller.  And he was heavier....

Mindy and Katie both had dates the evening prior.  They made plans for lunch the following day to compare notes and were eager to share what they hoped would be excellent experiences to one another.  Let's lay out the circumstances one dater at a time . Mindy was going on a date with a WWF Wrestler.  She was so stinkin' excited.  His photos were dripping hot.  They had been chatting for weeks.  She meet him online and was totally hot for him. Katie was going on a date with a guy she had known forever. They met a few years ago when he worked at a local dance club. He was super cool and smooth.  They had untouchable chemistry.  They recently reconnected on Tinder and spoke on the phone a few times.  Both boys were local.  Both boys had tremendous potential.  Hot Chemistry was the name of the game. Let's talk about the actual dates. We will begin with Katie and Dance Club dude.  Katie had only kisse...