Toy Stories

Mildred and Mary were sitting at a diner drinking tea and eating pie.

They had been friends for many, many, many years.

Both had deceased husbands and both did not care to date.  They had each other for company.  And they had their 'toys.'

Occasionally, they shared a few stories about their 'wild' years, but for the most part their conversations were clean.  About the weather, their health, their circle of friend gossip.  Life was simple. Life was good.

However, this day, both women had a little secret they were dying to share, but neither wanted to be the first to start a 'racey' conversation.

And then it happened.  The cop that pulled Midred over walked into the diner.  Mildred's face turned beet red.

Mary knew in an instant something was up with her friend.  "What is going on in that mind of yours Mildred? Who did you just see?"

Mildred was mortified, but she was sure the officer didn't see her.  He ordered his food and his back was turned to them.

"That police officer pulled me over a few weeks ago." 

Mary looked at her friend slyly.  "You don't speed nor have I ever seen you make a traffic violation. What did he pull you over for?"

"I was swerving a tad.  Not too bad, but enough that he thought I was drinking.

He made me get out of the car.  I proved that I wasn't drunk.  I did all those ridiculous tests, my balance is not as good as it use to be ya know."

Mary was perplexed, "Mildred, you are holding back.  Tell me the whole story."

Mildred lowered her voice, "Well, he searched my car and found Roy.  Roy was still turned on."

Mary knew exactly what Mildred was referring to.  "Roy" was Mildred's favorite sex toy.  She occasionally used it on the road.  It was her little secret fetish.  The fact that she got pulled over, was the best thing Mary had heard in a while. 

Mary had her own story to share.  It may not trump Mildred's, but she had been dying to tell her for days.  

"I'm sure you gave that officer a few good stories and laughs for his friends. Mildred, you are a wild woman aren't you?   Mary laughed wholeheartedly 

Listen to this doosey. 

I gave my granddaughter quite the story for her friends.  I stayed with her a few weekends ago at her beachhouse.  I accidentally left my bunny under the guestbed and she found it.  She sent me a photo asking if it was mine."

Mildred understood.  Mary's Bunny was her Rabbit vibrator.  It was Mary's favorite.  One she would have done anything to get back.

Mary continued her story.  "She wanted to know if it was mine.  I had to tell her 'No.' If she knew I was using that thing at her house she'd never let me stay with her again, she'd be disgusted without a doubt.  Her beach condo is fabulous, I can't risk not getting an invited back again.

I am due for a new Toy anyway.  Next time, I will NOT hide it under the bed."

Midred nodded her head, "Yes. And next time I will hide Roy in a better place."

Both ladies laughed and lauhed. They laughed  so loud the officer turned around and smiled.  He was well aware of Mildred's presence.  To this day. He still tells that story.

Moral of the story:

A Hidden Toy will always raise questions.

Hide them well.