Fetish Festival Fun Facts

"I really do not understand why so many guys are asking if I'm kinky or have a fetish. What happened to just good old fashioned sex? 

Kristin was venting to her girlfriend Jalen.

"Why is there a sex laundry list and I'm a prude if I'm not down with X Y & Z?!

Kristin was so over the online dating world.  Each and every time she felt she had a decent guy that she could actually meet in person, he starts telling her about some ridiculous fetish. 

"Oh please, can you wear nylons and take a photo.  Oh, I'm so excited you are simply thinking about doing this for me." 

And than he got ignored on Snapchat. 

"Jezus Jalen. What does a girl have to do to find a half way decent guy?  Maybe I need to find a Fucking Fetish and call it a day!"

Jalen was Kristin's very gay girlfriend.  She didn't date after a few crazy experiences. She understood and listened intently.

"Kristin, if it makes you feel any better.  Before I came out of the closet, I made men wear lingerie.  Now, if that's not a fetish I'm not sure what is."

Kristin was cracking up,"That's awesome.  Those men must have really loved having sex with you. I had a guy ask me to strap one on.  What's up with that?"

"That man is straight up gay.  He needs to own the fact that he's fucking gay and stop lying to his poor ASS."  Jalen had a way with words, however she was always straight up with the truth.

Kristin didn't know what to think.  She wasn't so sure she was ready for these type of sexual experiences.  It seemed there was always something totally unbelievable up someone's sexual foreplay sleeve.

She couldn't figure out if she was the only one who wasn't kinky or if she just attracted all the freakoids.

It's not as if she never experimented, with the right person, anything goes.  However, when you know a person's most intimate turn ons within the first five minutes of chatting, Kristin most definitely was not willing to go there.

Kristin began telling Jalen all the Fetishes she's been propositioned with:

"Its like a damn Fetish Festival Jalen!

Come and Get it! Choose your Fetish."
'

Baby, here's a key to my Chasity belt! (As he holds a key in a photo he sent)

Can I stick anything in your ass? Would you stick things in my ass?  Will you lick and stick your tongue deep inside me. (Ass obsessed is an understatement)

How about role play?  Can we role play?  That really turns me on. Will you be a naughty girl for me?

Threesomes. I only like threesomes with a girl and another dude. (Said the dude)

I am into everything.  Will you let me lick another guy's cum off you? (This is actually called a Cream Pie)

May I be your boy toy, oh and I'm submissive.

I want to choke you while I'm inside you.

I want to tie you up and put it in you deep. Like the deepest it's ever been. (good luck buddy, I have already seen a photo of your dick) 

Squirting, I make girls squirt.  That's my thing. 

I want you to tie me up and rub my cum all over me.  Pretty please. 

Kristin is thinking,"Umm, how about we just have a drink?  Oh wait, was that not an option? "

Yea....I get we all have our thing in bed, but maybe these are those conversations we should have after we actually know for sure if we want to have sex.  Chances are looking slim at this point.  And no, I don't want to see a picture of your dick or a video of you rubbing it or see how excited you are when you haven't even met me yet.

Dating is a mind fuck, but is this even dating anymore?


Moral of the Story:

Finding your Fetish is Fabulous, however keep the Fetish Fun Facts on the DL until after you meet the person. 


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