The End of Dating - Chronicles of Serial Daters

Deanna, Alicia and Morgen were sitting on Deanna's balcony. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining and they each had a glass of their favorite red wine. Each women had exited a fling or relationship with one of those men who women love to talk about.  They all had something ridiculously shitty to share about the ex.  Whether or not they really cared about how things ended was not the point.  The best part of a breakup is throwing the asshole directly under the bus. It's what women do when they get together.  It's like a law!  Alicia could not wait to share the dirty little secrets she had on her fucker of an ex.  They shared a child together, and all they did was fight, it was exhausting.  He was a relentless mess of a man whore.  "My 'Dick'  was stupid enough to get caught cheating with other women.  WTF?  Did he not think people would tell me they saw him out with other women? Not to mention the ones who flat out approached me abo

Dee and Layla were best of friends. Layla had a hot new boy toy she wanted to show off to Dee.  She told him he needed to cook them dinner before they went out that night, maybe he'd get lucky with both of them. Layla chuckled at the thought. She damn well knew Dee would never, EVER, go there.  They simply didn't do those things, but they had fun teasing the men in their lives.  They were all so hopeful too. While waiting for Boy Toy, they laughed and drank and were looking forward to a fun evening out.  "What time is this kid coming?"  Dee asked.  "I'm starving and its getting late." Boy Toy finally showed up, but not necessarily prepared to cook dinner.  Strike number one. Such a lame excuse too.  Layla was a tad more forgiving, but Dee was not happy.  She gave him a hard time. Boy Toy decided to jump in the shower, his hopeful soul conveniently left his clothes on the kitchen counter.  In the meantime, the girls sat outs

Four lovely ladies sat together at a lovely sushi dinner. One spoke of an upcoming job interview. The second was planning a trip to the nude beach to gaze at naked young fishermen. The third chatted it up about a new male prospect she was anticipating nailing down. And the fourth rambled a bit about a semi successful break up.  If there is a such a thing. "I'll go on the nude beach with you." said number four to number one.  "Anytime you want. You just say the word.  Young naked fisherman are my thing."   Number one smiled and laughed.  Recalling the hot young number she tried to take a photo of that fine day. Lady number two, the youngest of the four, is amazed at how free the other three speak of their lives, as if no one can hear them at the neighboring tables. Number three is finally trying to settled down.  She is smitten with her latest conquest. She shared a few tib bits.  "He has so many layers. I want to know ALL of

Rochelle and Fiona were sitting at an outdoor cafe, each sharing tid bits of their latest sexual escapades. Rochelle is what we would call a Hallmark Channel lover, while Fiona is a total porn parade.   Rochelle began: "He is so sweet and romantic.  We made love all night long.  It was one of the most beautiful first time experiences of my life. The moment he entered me I came within minutes, I simply could not help myself.  The anticipation of being together after waiting so long was simply too much to bear." Rochelle and her man had been having a long distance love affair prior to this evening.  For Rochelle, it was all about the tender intimacy.  You know....That moment in a Hallmark movie when the most 'in love' couple finally consummates their love and the movie fades to black.  (This was Rochelle) Fiona on the other hand, had the most outrageous and unpredictable sex life.  You never knew what would come out of this girl's mouth.

Mildred and Mary were sitting at a diner drinking tea and eating pie. They had been friends for many, many, many years. Both had deceased husbands and both did not care to date.  They had each other for company.  And they had their 'toys.' Occasionally, they shared a few stories about their 'wild' years, but for the most part their conversations were clean.  About the weather, their health, their circle of friend gossip.  Life was simple. Life was good. However, this day, both women had a little secret they were dying to share, but neither wanted to be the first to start a 'racey' conversation. And then it happened.  The cop that pulled Midred over walked into the diner.  Mildred's face turned beet red. Mary knew in an instant something was up with her friend.  "What is going on in that mind of yours Mildred? Who did you just see?" Mildred was mortified, but she was sure the officer didn't see her.  He ordered his f

"I need my pussy on it's 'A Game' and have it perfect for "insert name here" Yes, Sex Goddess was at it again. She knew what and who she wanted at any given moment in time.  Don't let her fool you though, as innocent and cool as she seems to her men, they are all just pawns in the bigger picture.  They are her conquests. They are her hoes. They are her manmeat. She plays, and she plays well.  They all think they are number one.  They all think she will settled down with them, but just as she gets her hope's up on one, another captures her attention in what seems to be moments. She gives 100% of herself, she gives sincerely with goodness, and then she casually flakes without a care in the world.  How did she become this sexy creature of hope, squashing every man's dream of forevermore? Every man had something to offer.  They all have at least one worthy quality.  At least one worthy trait wort

Riley had a new play thing at her disposal.  She had a really great night and had to share her man conquest with her best girl, Ellie. "This guy is way too sweet for my own good.  He already knows all my buttons and pushes them one by one." Ellie was fully engaged.  "But he has this freak side.  He wants me to play with his cum after he finishes. That's totally a first for me." Ellie was perplexed, "What does he want you to do, paint a damn picture?" Riley laughed for a minute.  "What the fuck?  That's hilarious.  I suppose I could." Ellie was on a roll, "Add a little food coloring and you can be fucking Picasso." Riley rolled her eyes.  Ellie had her own conquest to share.  "Once I had a dude mix his cum in with his kid's homemade slime. Now, if that's not a freak side, I surely don't know what is." Riley continued, " There's this other thing tho, he really i

"Wait, wait, say it again?" The 4 sisters were laughing so hard, they almost spit out their wine, margarita, mixed drinks and whatever the hell else they were drinking.  Sister #2 repeated it one more time, she was the creative, free spirit of the foursome.  "I gave the lotion to the creature in the ditch to rub it." I have no idea what I'm talking about, it just came to me.  "Who is the creature? Why a ditch and where are we rubbing the fucking lotion?" The girls hadn't all been together for quite a while.  When they did these annual trips it always filled their love and laugh tanks. Sister #4 pipes in, "Did you hear about the award winning sex toy? The one that was kicked out of the show? Apparently, the toy was too gender specific towards women." Sister #4, the youngest, was always in the know on everything and anything sex related.   Sister #1, the most political of the four, was flipping out, &quo

The Chick Whisperer is at it again.  Check out his story line from prior blog posts. This male seducer may have finally met his match with his Asian counterpart.  She reappears in his life out of the blue, demanding a Valentine's day 'shebang'. She wants roses and romance and all the crazy sex she can get from the Chick Whisperer, as he and only he, can give it to her like no one else can. She slithered back into his life making him question his appearance, his motives and his emotional well being.  She plays with his head, wanting hours and hours of sex, all night long, than leaves him hanging, wondering if he'll be able to keep up with her high sex drive.  He ultimately ended it many months ago.  The demand was simply too much.  As exciting as the chemistry and connection was with this hot little Asian dime piece, he had to let her go. Now she is back in full force and his life has been turned upside down.  He is jumping through hoops thinking o

"Why oh why do these men keep sending Dick Pics? I did not ask! I did not talk about sex! I did not hint to sex! I most definitely do not care to see their junk!" I have received some of the most ridiculous full length photos recently.  Their entire body in front of a mirror.  Not even at full attention. Are they really this proud?" And this is how Nadine began the conversation, over a Sushi lunch, with her girlfriend, one beautiful Florida afternoon. She unloaded as if it was the most casual thing to talk about. Jordan took a bite of her Spicy Tuna roll and made a nasty face. Not over the sushi, but over the thought of random, naked men popping up on her phone. She was happy to not be single these days.  Jordan was married.  But loved listening to Nadine's male escapades.  Just when she thought the stories could not get any better.  They did. "So, I was thinking," Nadine had one of her thoughtful looks on her face.  The

"Why? Why me? Sometimes I really hate dating!  For once, why can't I meet a normal guy that just wants to have fun and not be a damn weirdo about shit?"   Ashlee vented to her girlfriend over the phone. Kara listened wholeheartedly.  She knew exactly what her friend meant. "It's a numbers game, babe! We got to go through the bad ones to get to the good ones!" "I know.  It wouldn't have been so bad, if he would have at least told me be was 23, not 32.  His profile was wrong. He waited till the end of the night to tell me.  That's a total game changer. It was obvious he just wanted to get laid.  Sometimes a girl wants a real damn date!"   Ashlee unloaded.  She was exsapirated with the whole dating process. Kara laughed.  "I'll presume he was not fuckable." "Hell No! This is how I gauge these boys:  20somethings you got to be way hot and sexy for me to consider being with you.  30somethings you need

"OMG, Maddie! Can you fucking believe what that crazy psychotic bitch is doing now?" Justine vented to her girlfriend Maddie. As they sat down for Taco Tuesday, Margaritas in hand.  "Let me guess....hmmmmm, did she jump off a bridge yet?"  Maddie smirked knowing it could never be that simple. Justine smiled and showed Maddie an email on her phone.  "She is emailing my male Facebook friends and telling them I sleep around and have Chlamydia. Seriously, does she really think I'd be dating people on my FB page!!? That's just ridiculous!" Maddie's eyes widened.  "SHE DID NOT!! Who the Fuck does that!?  Does she not have anything better to do? She has truly gone off the deep end." Justine laughed.  "I know.  I have to laugh, because it's so juvenile and not even true. Condoms are a girl's best friend.  Although, she did promote my blogs, so I should probably thank her for that." Justine had a w

Jade and Dani were hangin' outside at a local brewery.  They were laughing over the eager men at the bar who neither had any interest in. Jade's infectious laugh attracted all the 'winners." "What was up with that dude, what was his name Jeffffferrrryyyy? Can it get any worse?"  Dani was being horrible. That guy was so sad, trying waaay too hard. "His Snapchat friend list had about 5 friends .   I was eyeing his phone for a just a minute." Dani giggled. "Yeah, seriously!" Jade laughed "One of them was State Farm." "LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STATE FARM IS THERE!"  They both started cracking up.  "At least he has that!" Jade blurted out. "And he repeatedly told me he smells like Pancakes and Maple syrup." From his vape. "LORD!" "Jezus....I think those guys are listening to us."  Dani eyed them inconspicuously. Dani's phone rang and she answer

"Has Facebook become the new pick up dating app ?" Chystal asked her friend, Melinda, at breakfast one morning.  "I recently changed my status to single.  And I have been inundated with friend requests from random men.  Many of them are a tad scary!" Melinda took a sip of her coffee.  She picked up her phone and showed Chrystal her Facebook friend requests over the last two weeks.  "Yup. You got it! Check that shit out, over 500 requests! A few are hot.  And I know for a fact a few of these dudes have girlfriends.  I have seen this one at the gym with his girlfriend."  She points to a very hot looking guy. One actually called 'Dibs' on me.  WTF? DIBS??!!" Chrystal grabbed Melinda's phone and started scrolling through the requests.  "Wow! No shit!"   Her face showed disbelief.  "Are these guys seriously messaging you out of the blue? Even before you accept their Friend request?"